A World of Difference
by Seven Benevolent Elephants
Summary: In life, even the smallest of decisions and most insignificant of actions can have an unpredictable impact on our future. In the world of Panem this is no exception. So what happens when the slight shake of a head goes unnoticed? Oneshot.


Haymitch has never seen me run.

Maybe if he had he'd tell me to go for it. Get the weapon. Since that's the very weapon that might be my salvation. And I only see one in that whole pile. I know the minute must be almost up and I'll have to decide what my strategy will be and I find myself positioning my feet to run, not away into the surrounding forests but towards the pile, towards the bow. When I suddenly notice Peeta.

He's about five tributes to my right, quite a fair distance; still, I can tell he's looking at me. I feel the iridescent blue eyes I've come to know so well- and yet so little, boring into the side of my skull. I make to turn toward him feeling as though he might be trying to tell me something, but with the sun shining in my eyes, I doubt I will be able to make out anything. I still don't know how much I can trust him, even with our talk last night.

I turn my attention back to the bow as the gong sounds and I make beeline across the plain of hard packed dirt towards it. Any attention I was paying to the other tributes, vanishing in an instant. I run. Feet pounding the earth and my gaze solely focused upon the silver of the bow. I see it drawing closer and closer, nearly within touching distance. Yes! I had it. My salvation to the games.

I know the minute that my hand closes upon the grip of the bow that I've made the wrong decision. I hear a scream from behind me signalling the start of the massacre. I turn to see who went down but there's too much going on. I see Cato wielding a huge wicked sword. Glimmer staring spitefully at me. A body fall near the cornucopia. Then a flicker of movement to my right. A thud and a grunt of pain.

Peeta's body lying in front of me. A silver knife jammed into his ribcage. Then Clove, standing ten metres away, a malicious look cover her features as she eyes her kill. Judging by the angle he had probably just taken the knife for me and saved my life. Again. And now I don't think I would be able to repay the favor.

"Peeta." I mumble. Still unable to comprehend what had just happened.

"Peeta!" I'm screaming now. My eyes shoot up toward clove, and within a matter of milliseconds there's an arrow lodged in between her eyes. She falls to the ground. Movement ceasing immediately.

I drop to my knees shouting at Peeta to get up. He doesn't. He is still breathing, only just. A dull and painful look in his usually bright and cheerful eyes. He turns to me and says with what little breath he can retain.

"Katniss… what I said in the interview," He coughs, more blood splattering his shirt. His voice is raspy and cold. "I'm sorry. I shou-"

"Peeta no!" I cut him off, tears spilling over my cheeks and my heart threatening to burst out of my chest. "You don't have to be sorry for anything Peeta. I'm the one who should be sorry. I've been so selfish the past few days." I say frantically. Trying to spill out all the thoughts that have been trying to escape for the past few days.

Peeta brushes a strand of hair away and wipes a tear from my cheek. I can't bear it. My head feels as though it wants to crack open and my lungs are struggling to take in air. I see Peeta's eyes widen and I follow his gaze to see Cato bearing down on us with the district one boy at his side. His sword drenched in blood, which ours will certainly join.

"Go." Peeta says softly.

"No, you know I can't." I sob. More tears running down my cheeks, this can't be happening.

"Katniss; think of Prim, your mother… Gale." He says the last part with distaste but carries on. "Please, they need you to come home."

"But I can't live with this."

"I know. But try, for me." He says finally and before I can say another word he pushes me away. "Look after my family Katniss."

I try to nod but find my head shaking uncontrollably. I fall on my back, arms propping me up and my back to the forrest.

"Go!" Peeta urges and I shuffle backwards quickly, more out of fear than conscious decision. The careers close in on Peeta and I know I cannot watch. I turn and sprint to the forrest, branches and leaves clawing away at my face, but I'm too scared to notice. I don't stop running, afraid of what will happen when I stop. But soon my legs give way and I collapse on the earth at the bottom of a tall tree.

How long I spent at the base of the trunk I don't know. I just remember crying until I was unable to continue. I passed out a few moments after the tears refused to appear, my throat parched from the incoherent cries.

I wake up, wondering where I am. As if everything that had happened was simply a dream. Then the truth sets in. For the first time I realise just what had happened: Peeta Mellarck was dead. Long gone from this world. The emptiness strikes like a thin sword, piercing through my chest and puncturing my lungs. Fresh tears sprout from my eyes which have long since lost focus along with the rest of my body. I sit for a long time trying desperately to hold in the sobs. Then for a split second, I see a tint of blue-black in the distance.

I will my eyes to focus in on it and I realise it is only two metres from where I lay. Nightlock. I pause, unable to wrap my mind around the thought, then I realise what my mind is telling me.

I pick a handful of the berries and stare at them in my hand. I could end it all here. No more suffering, no more anguish… no more Peeta. A tear drop lands on the berries, glistening in the sunlight and making these deadly berries seem almost beautiful. What would Peeta want? He told me to leave, get back to my family. He wouldn't want me to take my own life and make what he sacrificed in vain.

I look at the nightlock. '_Not these, Katniss. Never these. They're nightlock. You'll be dead before they reach your stomach_.' My father's words ring clearly in my head. No. I cannot end my life, that is exactly what the Capitol would want. What President snow would want. For the star crossed lovers to be destroyed, the girl on fire extinguished, showing hope does not exist in the hunger games. Or in the districts.

I turn and throw the berries wildly into the brush and here them land with a satisfying plop. _Plop? _I chase after my berries and find a crystal clear pond, neatly fitted in a clearing of pines. Quickly I fill my flask with water and neutralise it with iodine. After about 15 minutes I am too tired of waiting and gulp down the cold water, my senses being revived.

I see a mockingjay, much like the one on my pin, land on a branch close to where I'm standing. The Capitol nearly didn't allow my pin since it it could be a weapon. Now with Peeta gone it is my only link to home. My thoughts turn to the Capitol, idle people flouncing in fancy dresses whilst the districts suffer. Sending their children to their deaths.

This is their fault.

No. This is president Snow's fault.

How could he live with the deaths of so many on his hands, no wonder he reeks of blood. It finally clicks into place. The ideas that I have tried to avoid for the last five years for fear of my families lives. The ideas Gale has been spouting ever since we started hunting.

This has to stop. No more hunger games. I wan't to personally see to it that the Capitol pay for what they've done. What President Snow has done. I place every single accountable death on his head there and then, my hatred welling up inside me, a wound that refuses to stop swelling. I simply let it.

I can't let every single death be in vain. Especially Peeta's.

Peeta Mellarck the boy who saved my life. The boy who gave me bread, pronounced his love for me and took a knife for me. The boy I will never stop owing.

Now it' personal.


End file.
